Scene is 3.7K and still not done, and I am not entirely happy with how I handled the reality distortion effect I mentioned in Hour 3.
(I moved the then-latest mention of other people in the scene to a few hundred words earlier. The paragraph after the one where the mother finally gets what she wants, quoted in full, reads The world spins, three lazy clockwise pirouettes. Their ears pop. The paragraph after that is most of two hundred words just to locate who is where in the room and what they're doing. Two paragraphs later, Rena texts the character who is physically closest to them and who has been all scene, to say so that was super weird right, and he replies aloud that he has been trying to get their attention for [count them later] minutes.)
And my head is also spinning so I am going the fuck to bed.
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Date: 2020-06-20 06:01 am (UTC)(I moved the then-latest mention of other people in the scene to a few hundred words earlier. The paragraph after the one where the mother finally gets what she wants, quoted in full, reads The world spins, three lazy clockwise pirouettes. Their ears pop. The paragraph after that is most of two hundred words just to locate who is where in the room and what they're doing. Two paragraphs later, Rena texts the character who is physically closest to them and who has been all scene, to say so that was super weird right, and he replies aloud that he has been trying to get their attention for [count them later] minutes.)
And my head is also spinning so I am going the fuck to bed.