Round 20, Hour 47
Aug. 21st, 2011 06:00 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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fic_rush_48A xylophagus ninja xerus, a xanthic ninja xukazi, a xenophobic ninja xenopus laevis, a xenophilic ninja xantusia riversiana and a xeric ninja xiaosaurus all walked into a bar in Xi’an, stopping to admire the aquarium with its ninja xiphias gladius and its ninja xiphophorus helleri, and stepping carefully to avoiding the ninja xanthidae scuttling across the floor. They all ducked to avoid the ninja xenops that flew at their heads, flanked by a ninja xami hairstreak butterfly and a ninja Xerces blue.
The barkeeper glared at them. “Awright, you smartasses. You’ve made your point.”
Two hours to go! Plenty of time to write BRILLIANT THINGS!
The barkeeper glared at them. “Awright, you smartasses. You’ve made your point.”
Two hours to go! Plenty of time to write BRILLIANT THINGS!
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:03 pm (UTC)Anyway, time for me to sleep now. Write, my pretties! write!
(xiexie).
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:04 pm (UTC)Now I am going to go eat dinner. Hopefully I will be back for the finale.
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:04 pm (UTC)ETA: And you're welcome.
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-08-21 10:07 pm (UTC);D
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:20 pm (UTC)Switching to writing SPN. We who are about to write, salute you!
Laurie
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:23 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:37 pm (UTC)Meanwhile, I have promised myself that if I spend the rest of this hour on the cover letter, I can spend the last hour of fic_rush on fic. Here I go!
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:46 pm (UTC)----
Very.
----
Illya Kuryakin looked up from the paperwork he was pretending to complete and said quietly, "Napoloeon, I think we're surrounded."
"We usually are, tovarisch. By whom, this time? Thrush?"
"I don't see any thrushes." Illya hissed, and then realized that only half of the sentence was technically hissable.
"I don't see any thrushes." Illya muttered and hissed. "There are some hummingbirds, storks, ibises, and a lot of Quetzal. Quetzals. Qu-nevermind that."
"I see." Napoleon said. "And if my eyes don't deceive me, they're all dressed in some sort of Japanese get-up."
"The outfit of the ninjai." Illya said.
Those who tended to dress mostly in black tended to know the other societies the members of whom were largely black-clad. Which meant that Illya was aware of various members of the Anglican clergy (low church), ninjas, and more night-club singers that Napoleon would give him credit for.
"Why are we surrounded by ninja birds? And why not penguins?" Napoleon queried. He was bouncing a blonde secretary on his knee and had no time for this nonsense.
"I believe it is a circumstance that can be explained had you read the case file for our current affair."
"The Rara Avis Affair?" Napoleon said. "Sounded like it was for the birds."
Illya rolled his eyes. "The fact remains that we are currently surrounded by- oh, don't tell me that's a ninja cassowary."
"Illya, that's a ninja cassowary."
Illya gave Napoleon the kind of look that said he wasn't even going to go to the trouble of saying, "I told you not to tell me."
"So if I had, ah, read the briefing documents..." Napoleon inquired delicately, blowing into the secretary's ear at the same time in a show of masterful multi-tasking.
"You would know that Mr. Waverly was concerned about a possible infiltration of U.N.C.L.E headquarters."
"And here we are, old fellow, here we are." Napoleon said. "Surrounded, outnumbered, down to one secretary between the two of us..."
"If only Agent Boo were here." Illya said, hoping that someone, anyone, would get his obscure yet hilariously apropos reference.
The ninja cassowary moved forward. It was hard to describe its motion. The gliding, sensuous, deadly grace of the ninja was combined with one hundred thirty pounds of top-heavy bird balanced on two three-toed feet with claws as sharp as throwing stars.
"Napoleon! We may have a lucky break!" Illya said. "Put down that secretary at once!"
"Why?" Napoleon said, mystified, unwilling to relinquish the buxom blonde beauty bouncing on his knee.
"The cassowary is a solitary bird except at certain times of year. Based on the plumage, one can easily see, Napoleon, that that is a female bird."
"Don't tell me it wants to mate!" Napoleon recoiled in horror. No stern-visaged Soviet maiden or mad Thrush scientist was half as hideous as the beaky, crested, beady-eyed, black clad bird in front of him.
"No, Napoleon. If you'd read the case file you'd know, this isn't that sort of affair. This is the heart-warming and family friendly sort of affair. Take off your jacket."
"You take off yours!" Napoleon retorted.
"That won't do. Mine's cheap so there's no comedy value. Besides, I like it." Illya said, wrestling the secretary off Napoleon's knee and the coat from his back. He made a gentle clucking noise and held it out for the cassowary who promptly, and with ninja-like stealth, laid an enormous egg upon it. It looked at Napoleon with a dire glower and settled itself upon the egg.
"Congratulations, partner." Illya said. "You're going to be a father."
"What about the other ninja birds?" Napoleon said warily. "And why am I always typecast as the irresponsible one?
"I'm sure we'll find out in Act Two." Illya said. "Now if you don't mind, I have to go back to pretending to be the studious one." He put his dark glasses on and sat back down at his desk to be handsome and enigmatic in the not-terribly-vain hopes of luring the common buxom blonde secretary to his side.
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:48 pm (UTC)*eagerly awaits fic*
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Date: 2011-08-21 10:53 pm (UTC)I started giggling here. Like all the best crack, your characterization is truly them.
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Date: 2011-08-21 11:04 pm (UTC)*standing ovation, with a ninja cassowary*
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Date: 2011-08-21 11:10 pm (UTC)Laurie
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Date: 2011-08-22 09:16 am (UTC)I expect he fled at the first sign of danger -- I've heard he's a great big chicken. (At least, I think that's what I heard. Perhaps I misunderstood?)
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Date: 2011-08-22 10:43 am (UTC)